So, I have been through a really wild ride of a year, and the year ain’t over yet. I actually was surprised at the latest development in my reality show of a life. I honestly had my dream life in Dallas. I lived right where I had always wanted to live. I did exactly what I always wanted to do, meaning hot yoga, running trail in my backyard and something to do all the time in walking distance…theatres, restaurants, art museums, museums, play grounds, public transportation, bars, live music pretty much any time, opera singers open mic night, great food, spas, tanning salons, hair salons, starbucks, 7-11, CVS…all within in walking distance. Then, I got this crazy idea to come to Austin. My reason was to get Jessi closer to her dad. Wow, what mistake that was! He is trying to destroy me, not help me!
I thought that this is where I have always made my good fortunes, so this should work. WRONG AGAIN! I have struggled hard down here, but while I have sat here and whined on my blogs (or journals), I have diligently studied, worked, plotted, applied, begged, borrowed and stolen what I can and need to put me in a position where I may just be OK. It has taken friends who have pulled for me and have put me in a what could be a dream position. Thanks to all of you who believe in me! One of my biggest fans told me a few weeks ago that he had lost hope in me. It hurt beyond all words, but I suppose I needed to hear it. Just after that, some things started to fall in place. Nothing is totally in place yet, but it feels good.
I have never raised a little baby by myself until now. At that moment in time, I knew why I came down here. As the CPS lady put Skylar on my hip and started talking about the reality of the situation, it all kind of blurred together. I was in my head the whole time thinking, “what am I going to do with a baby?” The timing could not have been worse. The WHOLE family moved in for a minute until I lost my religion and kicked them all out leaving Misti, Jessi and Skylar. They visit any time they want to, but they all live in their own home.
This whole abrupt transition has done something kind of Godlike and interesting. Jessi has been complaining that she does not want to talk about the accident when we meet people. I always tell our story because it is a great story to tell. She wants to move on. I just kind of could not comprehend that until we got Skylar. I have focused so much attention on that and our story of just one day getting a baby, that I have moved on from the accident for hours at a time, even maybe a whole day will pass soon. Jessi’s neuro-psych exam was cancelled because Medicaid did not approve it. It is an expensive assessment, and it is important as she starts school, but I suppose, we shall just see what we have when she starts back to school! Amazingly, I think we have a full recovery. It will be really hard for her to get back into school as she was already struggling before she got hit in the head by a car. It is going to be hard, but I know Jessi will do it and do it well! I cannot wait to watch her soar!
We did go and have a very nice visit with the Principal. He seems OK so far in my book. I have heard mixed reviews, but we intend to stay on his good side. Jessi is soooo sweet, and we have to tell her story in that venue, though it is up to her if she wants to tell the other kids or not. I appreciate her tenacity, though I worry about her. Skylar is God’s gift to Jessi so that I can let her go and do her thing. She is at her Dad’s this weekend, and I miss her badly! She has her transition camp on August 13-15, and then her big birthday is the 19th! Then, school starts on the 25th! That is going to be a banner day for me as Skylar starts daycare on that same day!
On a hugely bright note, I start my job on the 18th! I have considered begging if I can wait until the 25th, but I need the money to pay rent, so I will just find a way. I cannot leave Skylar with anyone, but I will work with my caseworker and figure something out. The daycare if sooo sweet. It is right here in West Austin, and it is precious. It is not cheap and a wonderful opportunity that Skylar would not have otherwise had. It will give her a chance to be around other kids and to learn how to relate to other kiddos in a high level environment. They have all the classes and developmentally correct activities. These are uptight West Austin parents, so hey, I say go for it Skylar. She will certainly not get bullied in any group. She is a born leader for sure and highly spirited! So, I am getting ready to take my real estate test, starting a new job, putting my baby into a choice West Austin school after a long year, and my grandbaby in a choice daycare starting the end of this month. How exciting right! God is good, and He has his own timing. Now, just pray for us in the interim! Nothing is guaranteed…