The times they are a changing. It seems almost like one million years ago that we were in the hospital, but one little thing can take me back into that crippling pain again! I see something or have a thought, and I am in tears again. Some say that I need meds. I say it has not quite been four months. Just because God is working fast on this kid, I am not as quick to process and let things go. I’m trying to go through this together with her. We can do this, but it includes me.
It is so nice to have a home. The hotel was really nice and a great transition. We were not just in the hospital, but we were dead. I never planned on living again if she did not. That is not a suicide cry, but I would have just changed everything and gone on a crushed soul. I said I never wanted to see any of our things again. I am so glad that I did not have to do that. But, still the sadness can consume me in a second.
The weird thing is that we have gone full circle. We had to leave Highland Park, and we did it with our heads held high and our tails wagging behind us. We went to Fort Worth. It was lonely, but we really bonded. We experienced some typical teenager mommy problems before we moved. Then when we only had each other and a huge house in the Show Homes program, we got very close. Then, one week into school, she had the accident.
I prepared for a six month hospital stay. That is what they told me to plan for on the inside IF she survived. I put all my stuff in storage and moved into the Ronald McDonald House for the stay. Just under two months, we were released walking and talking and about a IQ of 50. They said, this is as good as she will get. They definitely saved her life, and I love Cooks. No one would have ever predicted her success from the severity of her injuries.
I had spent every minute by her side, and I was in hospital mode. I never left. I lived there with her. That creates a very interesting state of mind mentally. We just went to a hotel up the street from Baylor Day Nuero Rehab Unit for the first weekend out. It was weird but really nice. I slept on a rubber couch for two months.
Baylor is the best, and we got into the program with Medicaid. I still have no income, so it is all on the up and up. Our case is what Medicaid is all about in this country. I still get collection calls though. I don’t understand why.
Then we lived in a friggin hotel. It was a nice hotel, and it had it’s qualities. I had nothing to do or think about but writing and her. I forgot how much time it takes to make a home, and especially during the holidays and with everybody here while I’m trying to move in. I pulled the trigger on a car a few days ago too. That was my Christmas present to Jessi and me! We got a 2006 Honda Accord that is high mileage, but it was a great deal. Thanks to Moritz Kia in Hurst! Thanks to all of you who gave at the benefit and the silent auction. That was a great thing you did for us. I think I’ve always had a car payment. I like not having one.
I had to get a silly cosigner to get an apartment. I feel like I’m 18 years old. People are very generous, but life is not very forgiving. If I had not been resourceful and without awesome friends and a talent for writing, our outcome would have been very different. People have been amazing in what they have done. We stayed for almost two months in a hotel. We stayed roughly as long at the Magnolia as we did at the hospital. Thanks Chuck and Leslie!
So, now we are enjoying each other and our home cluttered with boxes and in shambles, but still it is designed where we can just close the doors and the clutter is hidden. It is a well designed home for 1100 square feet. Thanks to the Gables Management for working with us and helping us out and making sure we got a killer apartment for the money. Thanks to my cosigner, because I am assuming he knows I will struggle to pay my rent each month. Rent is due in a few days, and that is the last of the benefit money to pay for it and our bills. I will figure out what’s next this month I suppose.
The best news is how amazing this kid keeps doing. She KEEPS defying the odds everyday. They did her assessments at Baylor last week, and she is at an 84 IQ. I know I said that in a previous post, but THAT IS HUGE! She is average now. She is not technically mentally impaired at all. She still is recovering from a bad brain injury and is having to relearn everything and has problems with memory and processing, etc, but she will be back. Baylor never saw her allcheesed up or knew of her before. They just worked with what they had and they gave me my daughter back. She will continue in therapies there, and I am hoping at the Brain Institute in downtown Dallas. I am working on it.
We are already negotiating her return to cheerleading. It is obvious that she is nowhere near ready for that. She cannot run or jump or ride roller coasters or do anything that jiggles things up in her head for one year. No diving, but she can swim. No flips in the water or kick turns. But, I have told her that in a year, or when she is cleared from the doctors, she can return to cheerleading classes but not flying. In two years, I will let her fly again. I know I should not, and it is a huge risk, but it is her passion, and I do not want to take it away from her at this point. We can deal with it in two years. That is a good problem to have.
I am trying to just relax and enjoy my furniture, coffee maker, TV – I watched the last three episodes of Dexter last night. I’ve been a fan of the series, and it sucked missing the last three episodes. I did not think much about it during these past four months, but last night I had a TV and I had the time and I had access. I was disappointed.
Jessi is getting better every day. She is starting to express herself in ways other than being sweet. It is an adjustment. She is kind of aggressive with Hannah and Miles. She is that way with me, but I handle it differently. They make me nervous, and I want her to be more careful, but she is acting like a kid and they are acting like brothers and sisters. I’m very proud of her. I am very sorry that she has had to fight so hard. She feels sorry for herself sometimes too, but then we look at all we have. We are back close to where we left from. God brought us home. This is where the best programs in the country are located for her injury, and it so happens to be our home and very comfortable for us. It feels good.
Please go buy our book. That’s about all I did in the hotel – write and take care of her. I barely have time to blog now. I hoped it would sell better than it did, but it was more about healing than making money anyway. I like it. Feek free ti write a good review if you like it too!